The Spoiled Child

What happens to an undisciplined child? Absalom is a case study:

2 Samuel 14:25 (ESV) Now in all Israel there was no one so much to be praised for his handsome appearance as Absalom. From the sole of his foot to the crown of his head there was no blemish in him.

We begin to see the character Absalom emerge in several features. First, the text teaches us of his appearance. The words, "there was no blemish in him" are striking particularly for an ancient audience. This was supreme natural beauty. His hair is also mentioned by its weight and also his habit of cutting it every year. Was this a country-wide event? We are drawn in by these details to imagine Absalom as supremely handsome and utterly self-absorbed. I mean, who weighs dead hair?

Looks can carry weight for someone in the world. We live in a country enamored by beauty. Often times we let physical beauty mask other deficiencies in a person's character. This is the case for Absalom as the next passage will show. 

2 Samuel 14:28–29 (ESV) So Absalom lived two full years in Jerusalem, without coming into the king’s presence. 29 Then Absalom sent for Joab, to send him to the king, but Joab would not come to him. And he sent a second time, but Joab would not come.

Now two years is a long time to be banished from both your king and your father. Further, no one is talking to Absalom. Joab will not respond. Perhaps Joab understands he went to far in the previous episode to manipulate his return. But Absalom does not let his banishment teach him anything about humility. What happens to self-absorbed people when they are ignored? The grow agitated.

When Joab doesn't show after these two requests Absalom burns his fields.
2 Samuel 14:30 (ESV) Then he said to his servants, “See, Joab’s field is next to mine, and he has barley there; go and set it on fire.” So Absalom’s servants set the field on fire.

This brazen act is that of a spoiled and petulant child who is used to getting his own way. Like a child, he demands attention at any cost - even jeopardizing his own property while he destroys Joab's field. Notice as well that Absalom has no one to check him. He acts in outrageous ways and no one even blinks, they just follow his orders.

We also find out his spirit has grown weary of his condition enough to die:

2 Samuel 14:32 (ESV) Absalom answered Joab, “Behold, I sent word to you, ‘Come here, that I may send you to the king, to ask, “Why have I come from Geshur? It would be better for me to be there still.” Now, therefore, let me go into the presence of the king, and if there is guilt in me, let him put me to death.’ ”

This is the spirit of the age of many young people today. They demand attention because they were raised on it by over-involved parents/friends/teachers. They were rarely disciplined for fear of harming their "self-esteem" and they tend to be utterly obsessed with their appearance. Any glance through social media profiles is enough to convince us that Absalom would have LOVED the Instagram age! Could you imagine the number of selfies and pictures of his recently chopped hair!

Mind you, all that we see in Absalom is the result of the hands-off parental approach David took in regards to his children. When they rebelled and acted wickedly he repeatedly ignored it. First with Amnon and here with Absalom. This lack of discipline caused his children to keep pushing the boundaries of propriety, to fall into self-obsessed attitudes and if you notice in Absalom - he's ready to "die" if he doesn't get his own way (read Verse 32 again)!

2 Samuel 14:33 (ESV) Then Joab went to the king and told him, and he summoned Absalom. So he came to the king and bowed himself on his face to the ground before the king, and the king kissed Absalom.

David's kiss is almost permission granted for Absalom's soon rebellion. Instead of a kiss, Absalom needed a kick in the pants. He needed punishment so that he might learn humility and ultimately LOVE!

Love? YES, LOVE! That's what punishment is. Thankfully, we have a Father in heaven who is not willing to leave us to our own ambiguous status in regards to Him. He "disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” (Hebrews 12:6). 

The love of God is exercised NOT in letting us dwell as we are or as our self-centered natures would tend us to be, but in the firm, measured and ultimately caring discipline He administers.