The Absentee Father
David's life begins to spiral downward after the Bathsheba moment. The seeds of these disasters are found in Amnon's lust for and rape of his half-sister Tamar. This produces a vengeful attitude in Absalom and he bides his time for the opportunity to avenge his sister's mistreatment.
Absalom waits two years for vengeance. He then calls for the family to gather at his place for a special feast. He invites David and then specifically invites Absalom.
2 Samuel 13:25–27 (ESV) But the king said to Absalom, “No, my son, let us not all go, lest we be burdensome to you.” He pressed him, but he would not go but gave him his blessing. 26 Then Absalom said, “If not, please let my brother Amnon go with us.” And the king said to him, “Why should he go with you?” 27 But Absalom pressed him until he let Amnon and all the king’s sons go with him.
We note here David's reluctant attitude to speak bluntly and authoritatively to his children. This is a problem for David. First back in verse 21 when David heard what Amnon did but did nothing about it. In fact, some manuscripts have it that he did not punish Amnon because he "loved him and Amnon was his firstborn son." (2 Samuel 13:21).
Love for one's children is not exemplified in avoidance of discipline but rather in swiftly practicing the firm and appropriate disciplines. Ironically, Solomon, David's son, would later write:
Proverbs 13:24 (ESV) Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.
There's a reason why children need discipline. It's a reason modern culture has somewhat lost. But here it is: Children have no idea how to live.
Proverbs 22:15 (ESV) Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.
Absalom waits two years for vengeance. He then calls for the family to gather at his place for a special feast. He invites David and then specifically invites Absalom.
2 Samuel 13:25–27 (ESV) But the king said to Absalom, “No, my son, let us not all go, lest we be burdensome to you.” He pressed him, but he would not go but gave him his blessing. 26 Then Absalom said, “If not, please let my brother Amnon go with us.” And the king said to him, “Why should he go with you?” 27 But Absalom pressed him until he let Amnon and all the king’s sons go with him.
We note here David's reluctant attitude to speak bluntly and authoritatively to his children. This is a problem for David. First back in verse 21 when David heard what Amnon did but did nothing about it. In fact, some manuscripts have it that he did not punish Amnon because he "loved him and Amnon was his firstborn son." (2 Samuel 13:21).
Love for one's children is not exemplified in avoidance of discipline but rather in swiftly practicing the firm and appropriate disciplines. Ironically, Solomon, David's son, would later write:
Proverbs 13:24 (ESV) Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.
There's a reason why children need discipline. It's a reason modern culture has somewhat lost. But here it is: Children have no idea how to live.
Proverbs 22:15 (ESV) Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.
David's lack of discipline fuels further idolatry in his other son, Absalom. You have to imagine that when David did nothing to Amnon for his sin, Absalom saw an open door to his desires - POWER. You see, Absalom had a dual motive for killing Amnon. Amnon was the first in line to the throne, Absalom was second. With a father reluctant to discipline one son, the other son saw no barrier to chase his own ambitions.
David had all the military prowess you could imagine. He never personally lost a battle. Yet for all his talents on the battlefield, his home was a mess. There are plenty of similar examples of successful professionals who lack any semblance of parental authority. We learn from David's life how important parental discipline is - especially that of Fathers. All that David worked for is going to be undercut by his children's idol chasing. Amnon will die. Absalom will soon split the kingdom. David will suffer great loss, the nation will be in turmoil.
What do we learn? We learn the value of an involved parent! We learn first that EVERY child needs a parent who loves them enough to punish the idolatry out of them. We also learn that every parent's primary role is to parent their children and not simply raise them, give things to them or "love" them in feeling.
We also learn that our true and better David, Jesus will not let us go without firm and loving discipline.
Hebrews 12:5–6 (ESV) “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. 6 For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.”
What do we learn? We learn the value of an involved parent! We learn first that EVERY child needs a parent who loves them enough to punish the idolatry out of them. We also learn that every parent's primary role is to parent their children and not simply raise them, give things to them or "love" them in feeling.
We also learn that our true and better David, Jesus will not let us go without firm and loving discipline.
Hebrews 12:5–6 (ESV) “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. 6 For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.”
His LOVING care requires His firm discipline. We do well to learn from David and lean into the loving rebuke of our Lord.
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