Doubting Your Calling

What Christian hasn't been there? You live with those nagging doubts that perhaps you misheard God, perhaps you didn't follow the plan He wanted, perhaps you messed up at some juncture in the past and the pain you presently feel is a sign you're off target. 

If you've been there, you're in good company. Jeremiah was there in Jeremiah 20. 

Jeremiah 20:7 (ESV) O LORD, you have deceived me, and I was deceived; you are stronger than I, and you have prevailed. I have become a laughingstock all the day; everyone mocks me.

The first thing we do when our ministry or lives don't go as planned when we have set out to serve God is to question whether or not God actually spoke or even if we misheard him. Jeremiah takes it a step further, he claims God deceived him. What does it mean to be deceived by someone but to consider that your actions were the result of someone deliberately leading you down the wrong path. Jeremiah feels overpowered by God's Word. 

Perhaps Jeremiah forgot the initial calling to be a hammer in God's hand whom the nation would not receive. 

Remember?

Jeremiah 1:18 (ESV) And I, behold, I make you this day a fortified city, an iron pillar, and bronze walls, against the whole land, against the kings of Judah, its officials, its priests, and the people of the land.

Jeremiah considers quitting. Who hasn't been there as well? But the prophet doesn't preach because he needs to say something. He preaches because God has given him something he NEEDS to say. There is a huge difference between the two.

Jeremiah 20:9 (ESV) If I say, “I will not mention him, or speak any more in his name,” there is in my heart as it were a burning fire shut up in my bones, and I am weary with holding it in, and I cannot.

From there Jeremiah resolves to pray. 

Jeremiah 20:12 (ESV) O LORD of hosts, who tests the righteous, who sees the heart and the mind, let me see your vengeance upon them, for to you have I committed my cause.

When we want to give up and feel our actions of faith are fruitless, the best solution is prayer! Jeremiah does that, calling on God to recognize his commitment and to fight for him. Here's what we know. Even though it took time, God did just that. 

From that point, Jeremiah sings!

Jeremiah 20:13 (ESV) Sing to the LORD; praise the LORD! For he has delivered the life of the needy from the hand of evildoers.

Singing follows petition. Why shouldn't it? You have just taken your case to the One who can do something about it and loves you! 

And yet, in the very next verse, Jeremiah is back to cursing life. 

Jeremiah 20:14–15 (ESV) Cursed be the day on which I was born! The day when my mother bore me, let it not be blessed! 15 Cursed be the man who brought the news to my father, “A son is born to you,” making him very glad.

This is why I love studying this book! Jeremiah gives us a full picture of serving God. It is filled with disappointments, moments of confusion, conquering prayer, AND total despair. This is the cost one pays to have a Godly impact in a world strange to Him. 

You may doubt your call, but God is with you through it all.