The Importance of Complimenting Her

Having talked about how important sex is for a man in the last post you may think the Bible is misogynistic. This is the accusation of many. It is not true. Of course, there were many misogynistic men in the Bible, but the moral truth of the Bible clearly elevates the status and value of women to equal regard with men. 

In Song of Solomon 6, Solomon describes the importance of sex for a man and how his wife's giving this to him opens her up to passion as well. But now in chapter 7, he shows us the great gift a man can give his wife in exchange. 

What is that gift? Compliments. 

But what does he compliment?

Song of Solomon 7:1 (ESV) How beautiful are your feet in sandals, O noble daughter! Your rounded thighs are like jewels, the work of a master hand.

He starts with her feet! The ugliest part of a person is typically found here. But to the husband of this love story, they were beautiful. He works his way up to the legs. And then things get spicy. 

Song of Solomon 7:2 (ESV) Your navel is a rounded bowl that never lacks mixed wine. Your belly is a heap of wheat, encircled with lilies.

Yep, he's talking about what you think. And I don't need to indulge you further. Let's continue.

Song of Solomon 7:3–5 (ESV) Your two breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle. 4 Your neck is like an ivory tower. Your eyes are pools in Heshbon, by the gate of Bath-rabbim. Your nose is like a tower of Lebanon, which looks toward Damascus. 5 Your head crowns you like Carmel, and your flowing locks are like purple; a king is held captive in the tresses.

From her feet to the crown of her head. Solomon is smitten with her beauty and stares at her (See Song 6:13). She is captivating to him. But here's the secret - he TELLS her this. 

Men who want sex regularly from their wives should regularly tell their wives how much they notice their beauty. They should also tell them how often they find them sexy. She needs to hear this from you. It's one of the big reasons you married her in the first place. 

He doesn't just think or say she's sexy. He tells her of his desire for her. 

Song of Solomon 7:6–9 (ESV) How beautiful and pleasant you are, O loved one, with all your delights! 7 Your stature is like a palm tree, and your breasts are like its clusters. 8 I say I will climb the palm tree and lay hold of its fruit. Oh may your breasts be like clusters of the vine, and the scent of your breath like apples, 9 and your mouth like the best wine. It goes down smoothly for my beloved, gliding over lips and teeth.

His intention is to love this woman intimately and the response he gets is what husbands can expect if they will do the same:

Song of Solomon 7:11–12 (ESV) Come, my beloved, let us go out into the fields and lodge in the villages; 12 let us go out early to the vineyards and see whether the vines have budded, whether the grape blossoms have opened and the pomegranates are in bloom. There I will give you my love.

The more I study this book the more I realize how Earthly the Bible can be. Sex is an Earthly venture. There's no sex in heaven because we know there's no marriage in heaven. Yet God is concerned that husbands and wives share this reality regularly. And if each one does their part - your connection will not only be strong, it will be spiritual. 

Yet the intimate love of a man and wife points to the intimacy God wants with us. Not in a sexual way but a spiritual one in an everlasting bond of pleasure. God has done His part, giving us garments of salvation and glory in Christ Jesus. Let us respond by drawing hear and giving Him our love.