Theres a Time for the Things You Do Not Want

I know we will spend most of our lives obsessing or dreaming or at least thinking of the things we want in life. But between getting them there will be long and diverse seasons where we get the opposite of what we want. 

For me, I like birth, gathering, embracing, laughing, keeping, love and peace. But those events are not guaranteed for us as constants in the universe. Solomon saw both the good and bad times of life and realized that everything has a season.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 (ESV) For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

Then he writes:

Ecclesiastes 3:2–8 (ESV) a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; 3 a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; 4 a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 5 a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; 6 a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; 7 a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; 8 a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.

Think of the opposites listed here. Birth and death, planting and uprooting, casting away stones, and gathering them. The point is that life is filled with extremes, simple opposites, and everything in between and we cannot get hung up only on the good times or we will be discouraged about half the time. 

You see, if all you do is gather, you'll never know giving and letting go - a key activity of life's best ventures - such as parenting and growing older. If all you do is plant, you'll never have room without plucking up. And if you only embrace perhaps no one will discern the difference between friendship and intimacy in your life. 

We need the times we do not want in our lives. Then Solomon tells us that there's a reason for these things as well:

Ecclesiastes 3:11 (ESV) He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.

The seasons of good and bad, what we want and do not like are necessary for God's process of making everything beautiful. Herein lies another secret. God makes all things beautiful. And so that entails sometimes letting you experience what you don't want so that others might experience what they need. That's why we cannot find out what God is up to so often. He's got many more than just us to concern Himself with. 

And before you get angry, please understand, this is for your good, for you are part of the "everything" in process of God's beautifying process. And what God does - lasts. 

Ecclesiastes 3:14 (ESV) I perceived that whatever God does endures forever; nothing can be added to it, nor anything taken from it. God has done it, so that people fear before him.

Further, there are things you do not see and God does. He is therefore never subject to your scrutiny. Solomon wrestles with this as well in verse 16 and then immediately seems to find the resolve in verse 17:

Ecclesiastes 3:16–17 (ESV) Moreover, I saw under the sun that in the place of justice, even there was wickedness, and in the place of righteousness, even there was wickedness. 17 I said in my heart, God will judge the righteous and the wicked, for there is a time for every matter and for every work.

No, life is not a constant expression of only good things. And yes we will have to deal with unfortunate events and bitter experiences. But what will we know of good and love and peace if we do not understand evil, hatred, and war. The former draw us close to God, the latter cause us to cling to Him. And when we are closest to Him - we become the most beautiful version of ourselves.