Even the Strong Struggle with Depression... Here's Why
When you consider the things Elijah had accomplished in his life, the fact that he sunk into such a miserable state so quickly with seemingly no way out (in his own mind) is rather incredible.
1 Kings 19:11–13 (ESV) And he said, “Go out and stand on the mount before the LORD.” And behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. 12 And after the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper. 13 And when Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. And behold, there came a voice to him and said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”
1 Kings 19:11–13 (ESV) And he said, “Go out and stand on the mount before the LORD.” And behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. 12 And after the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper. 13 And when Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. And behold, there came a voice to him and said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”
After running 40 days and 40 nights on the food the angel prepared, Elijah holds up in a cave near Mount Horeb. Why Horeb? Because that is where the Israelites met with God. This was the place to be if you wanted to talk with Him.
YET... even when Elijah has a meeting with God, and this after the angel miraculously feeds him TWICE, Elijah is still depressed and ready to quit. Now here in verses 11-13, Elijah is able to see the majesty and glory of God. This is what he fought for. Now he sees the wind and the earthquake and the fire that followed the passing of the Lord. The text is clear, the Lord is not in these things but they happen after he passes by.
YET... in spite of seeing these great signs and having an audience with the Lord, Elijah is still sunken into a deep depression.
1 Kings 19:14 (ESV) He said, “I have been very jealous for the LORD, the God of hosts. For the people of Israel have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword, and I, even I only, am left, and they seek my life, to take it away.”
This is incredible. Elijah says word for word what he told the Lord before all these powerful signs of God's movement before him. You know what depression does? It makes us keep telling ourselves mistruths that we end up believing. Our emotions can speak so loudly we start not only listening, we start learning that which is NOT TRUE. Elijah was not the only one left. Further, it was not the nation that sought his life, but only one queen whose prophets he has just slaughtered.
I truly believe (and have experienced myself) that great acts of faith in public can often be followed quickly with deep levels of sadness in private. These moments are dangerous for the believer and I believe they are the fruit of self-righteousness and self-pity.
Elijah's first statement counters God's question and gives us a clue to the source of some depression. The Lord asked why he was "here" which implies he is not where God wants him. Yet Elijah's reply is the rehearsed "I have been very jealous (zealous) for the Lord." This is not true and the wrong answer to the Lord's question. Instead of "I was afraid of Jezebel" Elijah answers with, "I have been doing everything I should!" Herein lies one of the greatest causes of depression - a sense of over-importance based on our performance. I know this is hard to hear, but you are not defined by what you accomplish in life. Even what we accomplish is often a mixture of the fruits of other people's work before us (See John 4:38), innate gifts inside us and the times and seasons in which we find ourselves. Most of all, everything we accomplish is the result of God's grace (See 1 Corinthians 15:10). Listen carefully, if you want to struggle with depression, take the credit for all of your life's work.
Elijah's second statement further illuminates the source of depression in his life. It is filled with self-pity. He blames the people's rebellion. That they have "thrown down your altars and killed your prophets." The problem here is, though this statement is true, Elijah had just witnessed national revival! He tucked tail and ran just as the people were turning back to the Lord. Now he blames his fear on their previous way of life. This is not fair to the people and a childish way to answer the Lord. Herein lies another source of depression: blaming others for our emotions. The Lord is drawing this out of Elijah for our good. If we want true joy in our lives, we need to stop letting what other people do dictate how we feel.
Elijah's first statement counters God's question and gives us a clue to the source of some depression. The Lord asked why he was "here" which implies he is not where God wants him. Yet Elijah's reply is the rehearsed "I have been very jealous (zealous) for the Lord." This is not true and the wrong answer to the Lord's question. Instead of "I was afraid of Jezebel" Elijah answers with, "I have been doing everything I should!" Herein lies one of the greatest causes of depression - a sense of over-importance based on our performance. I know this is hard to hear, but you are not defined by what you accomplish in life. Even what we accomplish is often a mixture of the fruits of other people's work before us (See John 4:38), innate gifts inside us and the times and seasons in which we find ourselves. Most of all, everything we accomplish is the result of God's grace (See 1 Corinthians 15:10). Listen carefully, if you want to struggle with depression, take the credit for all of your life's work.
Elijah's second statement further illuminates the source of depression in his life. It is filled with self-pity. He blames the people's rebellion. That they have "thrown down your altars and killed your prophets." The problem here is, though this statement is true, Elijah had just witnessed national revival! He tucked tail and ran just as the people were turning back to the Lord. Now he blames his fear on their previous way of life. This is not fair to the people and a childish way to answer the Lord. Herein lies another source of depression: blaming others for our emotions. The Lord is drawing this out of Elijah for our good. If we want true joy in our lives, we need to stop letting what other people do dictate how we feel.
We will get to the Lord's answer for Elijah's self-pity, self-righteous depression in the next post. But here we have at least a launching pad for our own journey toward joy. Are we considering ourselves so righteous and everyone around us so evil that we have driven our hearts into the depths of despair on falsehoods we keep repeating?
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